I love to send handwritten notes. Birthday cards (yes, even to adults); “random” notes (sometimes with an article I think will be of interest;) and of course, thank you notes.
One of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received was from my girlfriend Heidi Kallett, former owner of the Dandelion Patch. She gave me 365 thank you cards and envelopes, and the book 365 Thank yous by John Kralik. The cards are long gone, the book is on my bookshelf as a reminder to keep at it.
If you don’t write thank you notes, try it. A hand-written thank you note is an overt act of gratitude, something the world needs more of.
When to send
- Anytime you open a gift in absence of the giver. Really, anytime you receive a gift.
- Anytime to are invited to someone’s home for a lunch, dinner, or party.
- As soon as you can possibly write the note is the most opportune time to send them.
- Keep in mind it is worse to never send the note than to send it 6 months after receiving a gift. While more timely is better, the time for a thank you note never has lapsed. Not sending a thank you note is always worse.
- The most memorable thank you notes are thank yous for random acts of kindness, because those are the most unexpected.
- Anytime you question whether you should or should not send a thank you note, you should send one.
- There is never a wrong time or occasion to send a thank you note.
- Always send a thank you note to a prospective employer who has taken the time to interview you.
- It is always appropriate to send an immediate thank you email, but only in addition to the hand-written note that will follow.
What to say (and what not to say)
- Always mention something specific about the gift, preferably how or where you are going to use it; this specificity is particularly important if you received a gift card.
- Remember that even if you do not like the actual gift, you are thanking someone for his or her thoughtfulness and for the fact that they put time and effort into the gift.
- Never say you won’t enjoy the gift, have a duplicate of the gift, or will never use it. (Yes, this seems obvious, but you would be surprised…)
Modern day rules
- An email thank you is never a replacement for a hand-written thank you note.
- Because of the prevalence of email, actually, a hand-written thank you note will have even more of an impact.
Start today. Send one thank you card to someone, just because. And then sit back, and enjoy how it makes you feel, and how it makes the recipient feel.