The Power of Hand-Written Thank You Notes…

I love to send handwritten notes. Birthday cards (yes, even to adults); “random” notes (sometimes with an article I think will be of interest;) and of course, thank you notes.

One of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received was from my girlfriend Heidi Kallett, former owner of the Dandelion Patch. She gave me 365 thank you cards and envelopes, and the book 365 Thank yous by John Kralik. The cards are long gone, the book is on my bookshelf as a reminder to keep at it.

If you don’t write thank you notes, try it. A hand-written thank you note is an overt act of gratitude, something the world needs more of.

When to send

  • Anytime you open a gift in absence of the giver. Really, anytime you receive a gift.
  • Anytime to are invited to someone’s home for a lunch, dinner, or party.
  • As soon as you can possibly write the note is the most opportune time to send them.
  • Keep in mind it is worse to never send the note than to send it 6 months after receiving a gift. While more timely is better, the time for a thank you note never has lapsed. Not sending a thank you note is always worse.
  • The most memorable thank you notes are thank yous for random acts of kindness, because those are the most unexpected.
  • Anytime you question whether you should or should not send a thank you note, you should send one.
  • There is never a wrong time or occasion to send a thank you note.
  • Always send a thank you note to a prospective employer who has taken the time to interview you.
  • It is always appropriate to send an immediate thank you email, but only in addition to the hand-written note that will follow.

What to say (and what not to say)

  • Always mention something specific about the gift, preferably how or where you are going to use it; this specificity is particularly important if you received a gift card.
  • Remember that even if you do not like the actual gift, you are thanking someone for his or her thoughtfulness and for the fact that they put time and effort into the gift.
  • Never say you won’t enjoy the gift, have a duplicate of the gift, or will never use it. (Yes, this seems obvious, but you would be surprised…)

Modern day rules

  • An email thank you is never a replacement for a hand-written thank you note.
  • Because of the prevalence of email, actually, a hand-written thank you note will have even more of an impact.

Start today. Send one thank you card to someone, just because. And then sit back, and enjoy how it makes you feel, and how it makes the recipient feel. 

Lindsay Crames, President, Beauty Fashion Sales Group

Twice a year, I visit with the fabulous Jeffre Scott in Charlotte, NC. There are many reasons why I love this bi-annual trip: the successful skin care events, the dinners,  the laughs, and the other industry leaders I meet there. Meet, and re-meet. A couple of weeks ago, thanks to another fabulous dinner on the eve of a fabulous event, I reconnected with Lindsay Crames. We first met in 2011, but it took this dinner (at favorite French restaurant Terra) and a great glass of wine for us to truly connect and embrace the fact that we are both women entrepreneurs in family beauty businesses. We both love our companies. We both forego work life balance. We both consider our fathers our mentors. And we both read James Patterson

AP: What city were you born in? LC: Miami.

AP: What city to do you live in? LC: Manhattan.

AP: What is your middle name? LC: Brooke.

AP: What is your astrological sign? LC: Cancer.

AP: What is something about you most people don’t know? LC: Sometimes I still think about my first love…

AP: What is your most prized possession? LC: My company.

AP: If you could have dinner with the person of your choice, who would it be? LC: Steve Jobs.

AP: Describe your fashion style in three words maximum. LC: Trendy, easy, comfortable.

AP: Do you wear a watch? If yes, what model? LC: I do not wear one.

AP: Diamonds or pearls? LC: I do not wear jewelry.

AP: What is your #1 beauty secret? LC: I like making my makeup look like my actual skin. I like to use liquids and creams. I used RMS coconut oil as a base to mix with any liquids, creams or powders to help give the appearance of younger, glowing looking skin. I also love Kevyn Aucoin sculpting powder for helping to define my face.

AP: What fragrance do you wear? LC: Jivago.

AP: Botox or not? LC: Not.

AP: Hair color: natural or not? LC: Not.

AP: What are your special diet tips, if any? LC: None.

AP: What do you do for exercise? LC: I run, sometimes…

AP: What are three things that you always have in your fridge? LC: Wine, diet coke, mozzarella cheese.

AP: What is your cocktail of choice? LC: Prosecco.

AP: What is your secret to work/life balance? LC: I do not have a work life balance. I work a lot!

AP: How many miles do you fly per year on average? LC: 50,000

AP: What are your three top tips for travel? LC: 1. Pack items that are light enough that you do not have check your bag. 2. Make sure all items are interchangeable and can make several outfits. 3. Do not travel with full size beauty products.

AP: 3 songs on your ipod right now. LC: Roar by Katy Perry, Amongster by Polica, The scientist by Coldplay.

AP: What book are you reading right now? LC: Along came a spider, by James Patterson.

AP: Quote to live by. LC: You are never done learning.

AP: What is your worst pet peeve? LC: Garbage that smells in my apartment.

AP: What time do you usually wake up in the morning, and how many hours of sleep do you usually get? LC: I wake up around 7:30 am and try to get 6 1/2 hours every night.

AP: What is your favorite thing about the beauty industry? LC: The people and the products!

AP: Least favorite thing. LC: A lot of people to please. Just as many opinions…

AP: Who is your mentor? LC: My father.

AP: Words of advice for young women starting their careers today. LC: Do something that you love and then it will not feel like work.

BeautyView: Kara Manos, Beauty Blogger

Beauty bloggers based in DC are about as common as skin care companies based in DC. That may be why I always gravitated towards Kara, feeling like we are part of a special club (even if we are the only two members in our club). She has impressive press credentials, is beautiful on the inside and out, and is the brain behind Politics of Pretty. And she has some Greek in her… I am obsessed!

AP: What city were you born in? KM: Rockville, MD.

AP: What city to do you live in? KM: Chevy Chase, MD.

AP: What is your middle name? KM: Vasiliki (it’s Greek for Victoria).

AP: What is your astrological sign? KM: Cancer.

AP: What is something about you most people don’t know? KM: There is a full-size cardboard cutout of me at my alma mater’s campus library. I was chosen for a campaign and they put my face on water bottles, brochures and a cardboard cutout.

AP: What is your most prized possession? KM: My beauty products, of course.

AP: If you could have dinner with the person of your choice, who would it be? KM: Lauren Conrad… so I could pick her brain about her favorite beauty products and have her teach me how to do a cat eye.

AP: Describe your fashion style in three words maximum. KM: Bohemian chic.

AP: Do you wear a watch? If yes, what model? KM: Yes! I can’t live without my gold Fossil watch.

AP: Diamonds or pearls? KM: Diamonds!

AP: What is your #1 beauty secret? KM: Buy your favorite products in bulk. That way you won’t have to worry about transferring products from home to purse to work, etc. Plus you never know when they will be discontinued.

AP: What fragrance do you wear? KM: I’m a seasonal scent type of girl so lately I’ve been getting the last spritzes out of Bobbi Brown “Beach” and transitioning in to Estee Lauder Modern Muse. Jo Malone and Chanel are year-round favorites too.

AP: Botox or not? KM: Not. I’m 25 so hopefully I won’t have to take the Botox route… not sure I can handle the needles either.

AP: Hair color: natural or not? KM: Somewhere in between. A natural look is always preferred but lately I’ve been having fun with highlights and color.

AP: What are your special diet tips, if any? KM: What’s a diet? haha kidding… but really, if you know of any good tips, I’m all ears!

AP: What do you do for exercise? KM: I recently started doing yoga and I love it. I definitely took the flexibility I had in high school for granted though, that’s for sure.

AP: What are three things that you always have in your fridge? KM: Feta cheese (typical Greek, I know), craisins and almond milk.

AP: What is your cocktail of choice? KM: I have a thing for sweet drinks so my go-to is amaretto sour.

AP: What is your secret to work/life balance? KM: I am still working on that… get back to me in like, 10 years.

AP: How many miles do you fly per year on average? KM: Sadly, I haven’t traveled much lately and funny enough, I love airports. I’m hoping I get to go somewhere soon because I’m dying to check out those beauty boxes in the airports selling everything you can carry on the plane.

AP: What are your three top tips for travel? KM: 1. Pack a carry-on with all your essentials in case the airline loses your luggage. 2. Opt for travel size versions of your favorite beauty products to save suitcase space. 3. It’s better to have too much than too little so don’t listen to your significant other if they say to “pack light.”

AP: 3 songs on your ipod right now. KM: Katy Perry “Roar,” Lana Del Rey “Summertime Sadness,” and Imagine Dragons “Radioactive.”

AP: What book are you reading right now? KM: The Paris Wife by Paula McLain.

AP: Quote to live by. KM: “I like my money right where I can see it… hanging in my closet.” by Carrie Bradshaw.

AP: What is your worst pet peeve? KM:  Twisting earring backs. I try to refrain from wearing studs now because of that.

AP: What time do you usually wake up in the morning, and how many hours of sleep do you usually get? KM: During the week, 7 a.m. (and I usually hit my snooze button once or twice). On the weekends 9 or 10 a.m. I try to get 8 hours of sleep. Every girl needs her beauty rest!

AP: What is your favorite thing about the beauty industry? KM: With my blog, I’m able to test new products before they hit stores so I feel very VIP. I also love learning a wealth of beauty knowledge from beauty gurus, makeup artists and entrepreneurs.

AP: Least favorite thing. KM: Chipped nail polish.

AP: Who is your mentor? KM:  Kate Bennett. She’s my former boss but I still keep in touch with her frequently and she’s always had sound career advice. Minus her obsession with fanny packs, she has a great sense of style too.

AP: Words of advice for young women starting their careers today. KM:  It’s better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

BeautyView: Tracey Sameyah, General Manager, Dermalogica

When I asked Tracey Sameyah, General Manager of Dermalogica, to be on my spa panel during Cosmoprof North America earlier this year, she said yes. Actually, not just yes, but yes, thank you for thinking of me, I would love to. She drove from LA to Las Vegas, spent less than 24 hours at the show, during what might have been her busiest time at work. And then, she thanked me. She is gracious, smart, funny, fluent in Farsi, and always carries two phones around, one for work and one for her family. I can’t wait for our paths to cross again!

AP: What city were you born in? TS: London.

AP: What city to do you live in? TS: LA.

AP: What is your middle name? TS: Ghazal.

AP: What is your astrological sign? TS: Pisces.

AP: What is something about you most people don’t know? TS: I am fluent in Farsi.

AP: What is your most prized possession? TS: My family.

AP: If you could have dinner with the person of your choice, who would it be? TS: My grandmother who has passed away.

AP: Describe your fashion style in three words maximum. TS: Classic.

AP: Do you wear a watch? If yes, what model? TS: Yes, a Rolex.

AP: Diamonds or pearls? TS: Diamonds.

AP: What is your #1 beauty secret? TS: Stay out of the sun.

AP: What fragrance do you wear? TS: Knowing.

AP: Botox or not? TS: Never!

AP: Hair color: natural or not? TS: Not.

AP: What are your special diet tips, if any? TS: Balance, everything in moderation.

AP: What do you do for exercise? TS: I spend a lot of time on a treadmill.

AP: What are three things that you always have in your fridge? TS: Eggs, milk and salad

AP: What is your secret to work/life balance? TS: Don’t buy in to your own PR.

AP: How many miles do you fly per year on average? TS: As needed.

AP: What are your three top tips for travel? TS: 1. Pack light. 2. Use direct routes as much as possible. 3. Use the time on the airplane to clean up your to do list.

AP: 3 songs on your ipod right now. TS: I don’t own one.

AP: What book are you reading right now? TS: I am re-reading Made To Stick by Chip and Dan Heath.

AP: Quote to live by.  TS: Play to win, not to be right.

AP: What is your worst pet peeve?  TS: Complainers!

AP: What time do you usually wake up in the morning, and how many hours of sleep do you usually get?  TS: I get up at 6 a.m., and get about 8 hours of sleep.

AP: What is your favorite thing about the beauty industry?  TS: It is built on passion.

AP: Least favorite thing.  TS: Our resistance to change and refusal to embrace evolution.

AP: Who is your mentor?  TS: I do not have one mentor, I believe our paths cross for a reason and I will learn from all who cross my path or get on my radar.

AP: Words of advice for young women starting their careers today.  TS: Be in control of your own destiny.

BeautyView: Nicki Zevola, Founder, FutureDerm

At the young age of 28, Nicki Zevola, founder of FutureDerm, has already been named one of the top 30 beauty bloggers in the world. And that it just the beginning. Beauty blogger and skin care entrepreneur, Nicki is savvy, ambitious, and passionate about the beauty industry. She has a clear plan for her business, including the ever-important exit strategy, and believes in having it all, although perhaps not all simultaneously. Just don’t ask her what her middle name is…

AP: What city were you born in? NZ: Seoul, South Korea.

AP: What city to do you live in? NZ: Pittsburgh, PA.

AP: What is your middle name? NZ: Ha!  Wouldn’t you like to know. (Don’t mean to be rude – just don’t share this publicly!)

AP: What is your astrological sign? NZ: Scorpio.  

AP: What is something about you most people don’t know? NZ: Sometimes as a woman you can be underestimated or labeled a pushover when you have a pleasant personality, but I assure you, I can stand my ground.

AP: What is your most prized possession? NZ: My big, beautiful, curvy brain!

AP: If you could have dinner with the person of your choice, who would it be? NZ: The sentimental me would want to have dinner with my grandmother, who died when I was 9.  She was my best childhood friend, and I’d love to speak to her again as an adult.  The business-oriented me would want to have dinner with any of my favorite business mentors:  Jim Rohn (now deceased); Darren Hardy (publisher of Success magazine); Marissa Mayer (CEO of Yahoo!).

AP: Describe your fashion style in three words maximum. NZ: Classic, sophisticated, romantic.

AP: Do you wear a watch? If yes, what model? NZ: Not usually.  I’m very iPhone-based.

AP: Diamonds or pearls? NZ: Both.

AP: What is your #1 beauty secret? NZ: My FutureDerm Time-Release Retinol 0.5 Night Treatment, of course!

AP: What fragrance do you wear? NZ: A lady should never reveal her fragrance…but I do smell of gardenias nowadays.

AP: Botox or not? NZ: Someday. Not yet.

AP: Hair color: natural or not? NZ: Natural.

AP: What are your special diet tips, if any? NZ: I am a huge fan of Kimberly Snyder’s Beauty Detox Diet. I abide by it religiously five days per week – I literally lost nine pounds in the first two weeks, and I was small to begin with. It’s not just about weight loss, though – your energy flies off the roof! You start off each day with a homemade green juice for breakfast, eating again only if you’re hungry. You then move to a vegetable-based lunch – I’ve grown addicted to black bean pitas loaded with vegetables! Dinner is a little more lax, but you can’t combine proteins and starches, because they use different sets of enzymes to digest and it’s harder on your body. So I have protein with vegetables or starches with vegetables. I snack on fruit. During those five days, I avoid anything fried, white, dairy, or animal-based. It’s tough! But two meals a week, I eat whatever I want. I just started this a month ago and I hope to be in incredible shape in a few months!  

AP: What do you do for exercise? NZ: I run 3-4 miles five days per week. I also am training to be a certified Pilates instructor.

AP: What are three things that you always have in your fridge? NZ: Fruit that is in-season, asparagus, vegan butter.

AP: What is your cocktail of choice? NZ: A nice glass of Riesling.

AP: What is your secret to work/life balance? NZ: For me personally, I don’t believe in work/life balance. I believe you can have it all, but not all at once. If you have more than one priority, guess what, it’s not a priority! To do anything to the best of your ability requires focus – and being a 28-year-old woman who is unmarried without children, I am focusing on my career right now. So I’m building a beauty start-up, and plan to do so for the next 4-6 years, at which time we will exit by selling to a large skin care/cosmetics manufacturer. After that point, I want to concentrate on starting a family and securing a job as a part-time professor of entrepreneurship at a major university. I’d like to write books and teach classes, and do a lot of philanthropy.      

AP: How many miles do you fly per year on average? NZ: Too many! Probably 20,000.

AP: What are your three top tips for travel? NZ:  1. Use two carry-on bags. I’m quite petite.  So rather than lug one huge carry-on through the airport, I put a smaller handbag inside of a larger carry-on. While walking through the airport, I take the smaller handbag out so I can carry one in each hand to redistribute the weight; then, when boarding/on the plane, I simply zip the smaller handbag inside of the larger carry-on bag. 2. Carry extra shoes in a plastic bag in your purse while you’re walking around town. 3.  Schedule meetings far apart. When I’m traveling, I make one meeting in the morning and one meeting in the afternoon. Not only does it account for the fact that you don’t necessarily know how to navigate where you are, but it also leaves some breathing room for sightseeing, trying new restaurants, and visiting little boutiques. Sometimes it’s that breathing room spent while traveling that incites the best ideas.

AP: 3 songs on your ipod right now. NZ: Bruno Mars, “Locked Out of Heaven”; Taylor Swift, “Trouble”; The Script ft. Will.i.am, “Hall of Fame.”

AP: What book are you reading right now? NZ:  Finding Your North Star, by Martha Beck.

AP: Quote to live by. NZ: “If your mind can conceive it, and your heart can believe it, then you will achieve it.”

AP: What is your worst pet peeve? NZ: Negativity. Complaining. Being a part of the “Why me?” club constantly. I get that you can’t be happy all of the time, but you only get about 30,000 days of your life where you’re young enough to move around and old enough to know what you’re doing (and have the rights to do so). And that’s if you’re lucky. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and make the most of every situation.

AP: What time do you usually wake up in the morning, and how many hours of sleep do you usually get? NZ: I get about 8 hours of sleep a night. I’m no good to anyone if I  don’t sleep.

AP: What is your favorite thing about the beauty industry? NZ: My favorite thing about the beauty industry is simultaneously my least favorite thing about the beauty industry: There needs to be a revolution in the way products are marketed. Women have become more empowered and educated in the past four decades. In fact, one in five American households have women outearning their male partners. Yet the beauty industry still markets to women like they are schoolgirls, presenting us with glossy ads featuring 16-year-old supermodels claiming to use an anti-aging cream. Also, promising overnight results.  We need to start marketing to women like the intelligent, educated beings they are. And that starts with honestly teaching what skin care and cosmetics really can and cannot do.

AP: Least favorite thing. NZ: Please see above.

AP: Who is your mentor? NZ: I have a lot of mentors.  For business, I strongly trust the advice of Jim Jen, Larry Miller, and Frank Demmler of Innovation Works in Pittsburgh, PA; Alicia McGinnis of Audrey’s Kitchen in Pittsburgh, PA; Adam Lyons from Insurance Zebra in Austin, TX; and Randy Eager of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, PA.  You need a lot of business mentors when you are building a startup!  For my personal life, I trust the advice of my mother; a few close friends; and the writings of Martha Beck, Jack Canfield, and Jim Rohn.

AP: Words of advice for young women starting their careers today. NZ: Find your true voice and your true purpose. Stop the negative towards yourself – stop doubting and questioning and being mean to yourself. You are smart and beautiful and have merit, no matter what anyone has told you, and you deserve better. Stop being negative towards others. When you take the negative out of your life, there is so much positive left to think, say, and do. Create something worthwhile. Right now. Start now, start today. Inspire someone. Reach out and help others. Whether you believe you get one life or not, you get one life as you in 2013, right now. Don’t let a day go by and wonder where it went. Know the power of a day, specifically today. Turn it all around.

BeautyView: JuE Wong, CEO, Strivectin

One of the things I have had to learn as an entrepreneur is to introduce myself to complete strangers – people I know of and want to know, people who have no idea who I am. I always have to give myself a pep-talk before walking up to them (them usually being beauty industry executives, although I did walk up to Brad Pitt once), and then just do it. From those pep-talks have blossomed numerous wonderful and wonderfully useful relationships (sadly, not with Brad Pitt). At a recent tradeshow, something amazing happened – another beauty executive walked up to me to introduce herself. JuE Wong, CEO of Strivectin no less, had seen me a few years ago at a Henri Bendel event and wanted to connect. I loved being at the receiving end of this greeting, and already a new relationship has started to blossom…  

AP: What city were you born in? JW: Singapore, literally a punctuation mark on the world map!
AP: What city to do you live in? JW: Manhattan, a city I wanted to be part of since I was 12 years old. I remember looking out of my family’s 26th floor apartment and remarking to my mom that one day I would be living in the Big Apple. To which my mom smiled and said “yes you will.”
AP: What is your middle name? JW: I don’t have one as in the Chinese culture we don’t have middle names.
AP: What is your astrological sign? JW: Gemini.
AP: What is something about you most people don’t know? JW: I can be a couch potato watching marathon reruns of Law and Order.
AP: What is your most prized possession? JW: My Hermes Birkin bag that my late husband, Bob, ordered and paid for to surprise me for our wedding anniversary; when the bag arrived, he had already passed.
AP: If you could have dinner with the person of your choice, who would it be? JW: My late Husband. I took so much of our time for granted that only having lost him, I realize what I am missing…
AP: Describe your fashion style in three words maximum. JW: Current, classic, colorful.
AP: Do you wear a watch? If yes, what model? JW: Yes, a Rolex Oyster which I bought myself when I started working in 1989.
AP: Diamonds or pearls? JW: Diamonds.
AP: What is your #1 beauty secret? JW: Sleep. And StriVectin’s AR Night Treatment.
AP: What fragrance do you wear? JW: Unfortunately, I am allergic to fragrance.
AP: Botox or not? JW: Not.
AP: Hair color: natural or not? JW: Natural.
AP: What are your special diet tips, if any? JW: Wild Alaskan salmon.  
AP: What do you do for exercise?  JW: 50 sit-ups, 20 bench-presses, and walking 1 mile in 12 minutes, every day.
AP: What are three things that you always have in your fridge? JW: Apples, apple juice, and salmon.
AP: What is your cocktail of choice? JW: A virgin Mojito.
AP: What is your secret to work/life balance? JW: My dog; he needs me.
AP: How many miles do you fly per year on average? JW: 20,000 miles.
AP: What are your three top tips for travel? JW: 1. Keep a toiletry bag ready at all times. 2. Pack clothes you can mix and match. 3. Pack 1 pair of heels.
AP: 3 songs on your ipod right now.  JW: Fire in the Rain by Adele, 100 Years by Five for Fighting, and Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship.
AP: What book are you reading right now?  JW: I just finished Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg.
AP: Quote to live by. JW: Regrets are not about failures but about things you never tried and wish you did.
AP: What is your worst pet peeve? JW: Tardiness.
AP: What time do you usually wake up in the morning, and how many hours of sleep do you usually get? JW: 6am, and about 8 hours.
AP: What is your favorite thing about the beauty industry? JW: The innovations.
AP: Least favorite thing. JW: Emerging brands losing ground with all the buy outs.
AP: Who is your mentor? JW: Mindy Grossman, CEO of HSN.
AP: Words of advice for young women starting their careers today. JW: Take Your seat at the table, own it, and deliver on your promise.